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Love is in the air (cue retching sounds)

This summer has been amazing. I've never had so much fun before. I had my tv watching days, but I also had my zombie walk and my swing dancing introduction. I've raved and swam, sprinted and lifted my body weight.  I even know what I want in my future, too, so it's not like I'm gazing into a gloomy crystal ball full of question marks. However, there is a price to all this wonder.

Everyone's in love, except for me. I don't begrudge them their happiness, but all this romantic fluff is tiring. I want to talk of things other than relationships and how hot Mila Kunis' ass is in "Friends with Benefits." I mean, it's nice to look at, but really, you don't need compare yours to it. Nor do I care to look at a hundred different pictures of your lover making the same expression (with slight differences).

Just. . .everyone....SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I think the worst thing is that I start to think about my pathetic excuse for a personal life. I don't date, I don't fuck, and I act like my personal bubble is made of fucking steel. Thus, when a friend gives me a platonic kiss on the cheek my face turns the color of a tomato (literally, which meant that I was hugged and kissed a few more times after that purely for entertainment purposes).

In case you think I'm overreacting, there are currently at least 5 people who are obsessed with their love lives who are around me. Minimum. I'm not even counting the 14 year olds I know. I'm not even counting the one in love with weed. Fuck that plant. It is an annoying plant.

God, I want to talk about philosophy.

And adventures. And how there are so many goddamn creepers here. And how I really want to paint someone from head to toe. And tattoos.


SuckerPunch DreamLand

So, I was listening to music and I decided to create a dreamland. I've done it before, but this weirder than ever, possibly because I was listening to the Sucker Punch soundtrack.

SuckerPunch DreamlandCollapse )

Of course, I could also make my Daft Punk dreamland.Collapse )

Btw, to the person who knows what I mean: Sorry for being a bitch. 


Tova shte go napisha na Bulgarski. Tozi put ne e za potigrafka. Prosto iskam da kaja neshto, da mogat da me razberat, i v sushtia moment da ne me razberut vop4te.

Но искам да го напиша б български букви. Сърцето ме боли. Незнам зашто. Но с всеки изминал ден ме боли повече. 

Все ми се струва че пиша за тъжни работи.  Баща ми почина. Майка ми работи като куче. А аз? Сериозно се провалих.  А това не е най гадното. За мен, най гадното е че не правя ништо за да се променът нещата и че всички се държът все едно моят провал е някъкув оспех. Боли като звер!  Ас си биах обештала че НИКОГА няма да ходя там, но защото ниямам избор, там ще ходя. Еба!

I'm on this whole Grey's Anatomy wave.  I've been rewatching it and it is awesome. I'm not looking forward to the later seasons because I know they eventually dissolve into fecal matter.  However, the beginning is amazing. And I'm starting to have different favourite characters than before. Last time, I loved Izzy and her randomness. This time, I've fallen for Christina's brusque ways.  

I think one of my favourite episodes is when she goes through all the pregnancy melodrama. She ends up solving a case even though she supposed to be in bed. Pure win. :D

Doing all the college stuff is a pain though. All these applications and all of these people wanting my SSN.  I think I've finally memorized it, but then again, I always blank when I have to put it in somewhere. It shouldn't even be necessary. But no. I have to be branded like cattle.  

Money, money, money and bit of sense.

Spending money...it's not something I used to do that much.  I could let the cash in my wallet gather up and wait for an emergency (like a birthday or the 8th of March).  Nowadays, however, it's flying so fast that I can barely keep 40 dollars saved up. Presumably, part of it is my plan to become a better person in general. To be a better person, you have to fix your flaws--which requires spending money. Not a lot all at once, but it goes quite quickly. 

A rant about moneyCollapse )

To make this poverty of mine worse, I have accumulated sense and desire when I really shouldn't. 

and a rant about general shit.Collapse )
And now, for some entertainment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Zsnw6yxH2o

Makes me want to howl, like I did as a kid. And it'd probably sound realistic because I have a cough and my voice sounds strange.



I wish I had a magic pen, that transformed my thoughts into pictures on a page. When I picture rivers that flow into minds and open eyes, I wish I could pull gifs out of my head and put them on youtube,  Or at least I had a 3D printer, like NASA does.  I was watching mythbusters last night and they were debating the aerodynamics of a surfboard.  Since the carve one that they had made wasn't an exact replica of the original they scanned pictures into the comp and then printed a mini board.  PRINTED a 3D mini board.  I now want one of those wicked things, not because I have god knows what to print, but because I could print legos and then make castles and stuff.  I haven't done that since I was a kid, and I really really want to do that. Although when I think of legos I think of whales.  Mini, plastic whales and orcas. I remember being 4 and playing with those things. And really wanting to make forts.  But me and my friends (a brother and his older sister) usually made forts out of pillows and bedsheets.  Then we gathered food, drinks and games.  I remember learning how to play "salami" and "war" with them.

As I'm rambling, I might as well write more comprehensible shit, yes?  Well...how about my favorite sunrise.  It was a few years ago, and I was at see with my family and a few friends. I had been feeling snippish for ages, so one morning I sneaked out of the house at 6 in the morning and walked about a mile to get to the seaside.  I remember passing the yellow fields, seeing a braying donkey and a happy, munching cow, and following the pink in the sky.  Eventually I got to a metal tree and saw the 25 foot drop to the cliffs and the ocean.  At this point, the sun hadn't risen yet, so the edges of the sky were purple and some clouds were a gentle pink.  When the blood orange sun rose it began to banish the dark colors of the sky into lighter ones.  From dark pink to light pink to white and from purple the sky turned blue.  As the sun gradually lifted itself off the horizon, the fields and the trees turned gold.  The dry dirt sparkled around my feet and the air began to smell of the warmth of the day.  Hell, I OWNED that day, or at least that hour. Then I walked home and crashed into bed, woke up at midday. 

Speaking of which, I haven't been able to get up earlier than eleven since monday.  Argh.  I even set my alarm clock.  Do I wake up? Nope. I hate snow and snowdays. They make me attached to my bed.

O_o An awkward question.

This just occurred to me.  If 16 is the age of consent, why is porn banned for 16 and 17 year-olds?  I mean, it doesn't really make sense. If you can crash and burn on the motorcycle of life, why the hell won't they let you watch youtube videos for it?  Weird analogy.  Yeah.

Bulgaria, obi4 moia

Da. Dosta se radvam che horata ne moje da me razberut kato govoria na bulgarski.  Napravo...niamash si prestava, choveche.  Razbirase, do niakude me drazni che ne moga da pisha s kirilitza na tozi comp, no kakvo da se napravi po vaprosa??  Tova e trud, vreme, i mnogo drugi bolezneni raboti.  Ia da vidim kakvo shte stane ako zapo4na da govoria za grad Kitten.  Ili Kiten.  Neznam kak se pishe.  Tobre de, znam, no se kefa 4e niakoi hora NIAMA DA ME RAZBERAT.  MWAXAXAXA.  Taka. Istoriata e che minah pres tozi grad kato putuvah kum Varvara tova liato.  Se edno gradut e krusten na kotka! Super, nali?  No beshe napisano :KUTEH na tabelkata.  Zatova neznam dali e Kitten ili Kiten.  Nai veroiatno ne e kato tup kotarak.  Da. Poveche e kato niakukuv diado s bastun.

CAPTION: ABE!  Mani se ottuk, tziganin takuv! Ai'e! MAI SE BE!  KE TE ODARA!  BEGAII!!
Super dedka s bastun.  Ne 4e imam neshto protiv tziganite ili selenite, no taka nai veroiatno si go pretstavam.  Kato American redneck. 


Moiata (velika!) tzel, s tozi post e:

DA JIVEÉ BULGARIA!! URA!! MALKA DURJAVA! S super iaki hakercheta! (Znaesh li, izvednuj mi se pishe rap pesnichka kato Kanye West. No na bulgarski.  Abe...vsushnost...tozi gozpodin pishe li rap? Ili i prosto hiphop? DE DA ZNAM BE HORAA!)


This must've been really informative.  I spilled so many SECRETS about myself.  Great, yeah? The only thing you need to know is Bulgarian.  I ako ne go govorish ezika ot dete, ti se pishe zle.  Niama da me raberesh vopchte.



flip goes the finger


Yeah...it's become a bad habit.  So when a certain EIC emails me a bs letter about keeping our deadlines, I can't help it *flip goes the finger.* If the bleeding youtube vid I want to watch isn't loading..*flip goes the finger.*  If I just really, really don't feel like doing my SAT work..*FLIP goes the finger.*  It's bloody magical.  I just hope the finger doesn't flip in the middle of class.  That would be bad. Very very bad.

Anyway..don't you just love the pic?


If I was someone else, would it be easier? To hold an energy such as this, bouncing off of the walls as my eyes close? 

Anyway, I have a feeling I was about to say something of interest..what was it....never mind.  I'll see if I can't think of it later.  Since I can't think of what I originally was going to say, let me rave about skins.  It is the BEST show for teenagers. Most of the characters aren't pansies and the actors are actually skilled. Of course, I'm talking about the second generation.  Sid jerking off in the first episode was enough as far as the first gen. for me.  Although I have heard that Tony is a wonderfully twisted and charming bastard.  A little like his sister Effy.  Speaking of Effy, the actress who plays her has to be one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen.  How is it possible that a girl can look like that? I don't know if I'm jealous or in love..probably a little bit of both. 

As for me, I'm a little tired of being called a cute boy, since I am neither male nor cute. And it doesn't help I look as bloody androgynous as possible (not always on purpose).
That's probably what I was originally going to go off on.  Pretty bloody predictable.  ~Sigh~

I should just continue raving (in a more coherent fashion) about skins.
Points for it:
-It's set in the U.K
-The average age of the writers is 21 (so they've all been through the teenage crap recently and know what they're talking about)
-It's got the actress from above acting in it
-Really good music
-The way that it's shot is really cool.  All HD, so it doesn't look like a noontime soap.
-Naomily plot
-The guy who plays Freddie is hot.
-Excessive use of drugs and alcohol

Points against it:
-ze name is just plain weird
-The story of the 2nd gen is done
-The ending...I want to kill the writers.  Those bastardos.
-I've seen the whole thing.
-MTV wants to make an American version.  AAaaargh.



 Alright.  So I just figured out that I can't really get drunk.  I mean, I can lose some control over my motor skills, I won't walk straight and I can throw up, but I really can't actually lose control. I mean, yesterday I drank 3 shots of after shock, 1.5 shots of vodka, 2 shots whisky, and 4 shots (at least) of rum ( which isn't that bad when it's not mixed into some drink).  So if we add all that up together...that's at least 10.5 shots of hard liquor AND it was my first time consuming so much so fast.  And all I lost control over was my motor skills.  And then after a while I felt dizzy (and annoyed that I am dizzy) so I decided to lay down.  When I someone finally decided to go and make me scootch over, I got up, slipped away, and quickly became grateful that the bathroom was so close.

Now the only thing I'm wondering is if I am still a little bit drunk.  I remember that a shot needed an hour to process, and I had at least 10, so I still don't trust myself with a car.

As for the hangover, I'm not in pain (yet?) and I'm pretty happy about that. I just need more sleep.  So I guess...goodnight.